As women, we can sometimes feel as though we’re responsible for the wellbeing of our loved ones. If your partner regularly cannot get or keep an erection, your first instinct may be to blame yourself. Don’t. Your partner’s ED is not caused by anything you’ve done.
ED can’t be cured by sexy new lingerie or more variety in the bedroom, because it isn’t related to your guy’s attraction to you. His inability to “perform” is most likely a physical condition2 that is often linked to medical problems such as diabetes, high cholesterol, or early-stage heart conditions.6
This might sound worrisome too, but it’s news with a silver lining. Having a medical cause for ED means help is available. With treatment, your partner can get back to sweeping you off your feet.
Support for Spouses and Partners
If you don’t feel comfortable discussing your spouse’s or partner’s ED with a friend, Coloplast can help. We’ve provided a partner support network to help you connect with other spouses or partners that have struggled with the same issues. Having a sympathetic listener can help you address your concerns without making your loved one feel as though you’re unhappy with him or are divulging his very personal secrets to just anyone.
Opening the Lines of Communication
Dealing with ED is stressful for any man, even when he’s nowhere near the bedroom. Since erections are often portrayed in popular culture as a sign of masculinity, it’s no surprise that ED can him lead to feelings of depression, low self-esteem, anxiety or guilt.26
If you’ve noticed that your sweetheart is hesitant to hug, kiss, or show any affection, he’s probably worried about what will happen if things turn physical and he’s unable to satisfy you. No man wants to feel like he’s disappointing the partner he loves.
Minimizing the problem might seem helpful, but telling your partner his erectile dysfunction doesn’t matter makes it sound like you don’t miss sexual intimacy. This message is ultimately hurtful and may only cause him to withdraw even further.
To show your support, arrange a time to talk where you both feel relaxed. You want to be far away from the bedroom when this conversation occurs. Try having the discussion after you’ve enjoyed a meal or watched a funny movie together. Share the ED information you’ve uncovered. Let him know that you care about his health and happiness, and gently encourage him to see his doctor. You can offer to join him at his appointment, but he might be more comfortable having a private conversation with his physician. He will know what feels right.